Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
Posted on April 8, 2010 - by kelly
Things I Love About My Grandpa
Proverbs 17:6 Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
I had the fortune of growing up in an awesome family steaped in tradition and old-fashion family values. This wasn’t always something that I appreciated, but as time passes, I have grown to honor it a great deal. I’m certain these roots lie further back in time, but in my memory, they start with my Grandpa.
Last week I was able to celebrate the life of Norris Acy Wing, aka Grandpa. This man was the kindest person I ever had the honor of knowing, and the legacy he leaves behind is entwined in all the lives that he touched throughout the years. When reflecting on a snapshot of his 88 years of life it could have been one of great sorrow and loss, but Grandpa triumphed at every challenge, never choosing to look at the negatives, only the possibilities of what lie ahead.
These are a few of the things that come to mind when I think of my Grandpa:
- Grandpa had the best laugh of anyone I ever knew. It started as this deep chuckle, with the sides of his mouth turned up just so, and would grow into a deep belly laugh, rich with emotion.
- Grandpa had the softest skin. I loved to hold his hand or kiss his cheek. His skin was like velvet. (My mom has the same feel. One of my favorite childhood memories was sitting in church tracing my fingers over the vein lines on her hands feeling her silk skin beneath my little fingers.)
- If you ever met my Grandpa you would never forget his voice. Rich, deep, warm, perfect. If heaven has a choir, he’s singing lead. One of my favorite memories is him singing at his 80 th birthday an old hymn about Shadrack, Meshack, and Abendigo. Better than any modern day tune ever. Shannon and I still stop and dance anytime we hear “It Had To Be You,” which Grandpa sang to us for our first wedding dance the day we got married.
- Grandpa was so gentle. Wether it was holding a great grand baby or swinging a golf club, everything he did was gentle. He had a grace about him that was indescribable. Even as he got older and wasn’t as sturdy, he walked with this peaceful grace.
- Grandpa was never mean. I can honestly say I never heard him say a negative thing about anyone, ever. I know of no one else in the world that I could say this about. He always looked at the positives in people.
- The list is endless, but my favorite thing about my Grandpa was that he loved Jesus. He taught his children to love him, his grandchildren to love him, and anyone he came in contact with knew he loved Jesus. The legacy he leaves behind has not only impacted the lives of those here on earth, but it will have everlasting impact on how those people spend eternity.
I am a lucky girl to have loved such a great man. Selfishly I was not ready to say good bye, but I am thankful for the heritage and the memories I will always have of this incredible gift I called Grandpa.
Posted on January 31, 2010 - by kelly
Worth the Wait
Waiting is one of my least favorite things in all the world, and it’s no wonder, we are forced to wait for so little in our fast paced lives. In the short span of half an hour I checked my email, twittered, and facebooked all in seconds from my phone while I grabbed lunch for my family at a fast food drive in, to come home and watch a movie that we picked out “on demand.”
I have lived long enough to remember a time when “Internet” and “email” were crazy buzz words circulating around my college campus, and even if you wanted to check it out, you had to walk across campus and log into the computer lab. And if you wanted to watch a movie, you had to go to the theatre, or at a minimum drive to the rental store and pick it out. It’s frightening to think of the technological advances that my children will see in their lifetime. Waiting will not come easy for them. But recently I had one of those God given opportunities to teach my daughter a lesson that some things in life are indeed worth the wait.
Emma was three or four and wanted her ears pierced. I’m not opposed to ear piercings, I just thought she needed to be a bit older to help in the care process, so without thinking I said, “Sure, when you’re 10.” Little did I know how difficult this would turn out to be. Year after year went by with friend after friend getting her ears pierced. I became the most unreasonable, mean, my only goal in life must be to ruin my daughter’s, kind of mom. I have to confess, I almost gave in once or twice, because the reality was, it wasn’t that big of a deal, but something told me to stick to my guns.
Emma turns 10 tomorrow. Our entire family is elated to reach this mile stone and it has been a joy to celebrate her first decade. As she sat in the ear piercing chair, she turned to me and said, “Mom, this was worth the wait.” This lesson was so much bigger than getting ear rings. For me it was a lesson in parenting and follow through, for Emma, it was a lesson in patience. There will be many more things I advise Emma to wait for in her life and I hope to use this reminder that indeed, some things are worth the wait.
Posted on November 7, 2009 - by kelly
Introduction to Tithing for Kids
This Sunday in Valley Kids we introduced the concept of giving back to God what is rightfully his. Not only are we commanded to share, but we are commanded to share the first portion of our gifts, not the left overs. It is our hope that your family will use the following letter that was handed out in class to continue this practice at home.
Dear Parents,
It is our hope each Sunday here in Valley Kids to teach your children biblical truths that you as a parent can build upon at home. This letter is an attempt to give you some practical ways that you can apply 2 Corinthians 9:7 to your child’s every day life.
Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7.
Today your child heard about giving back to God. Growing up in church myself, I was curious about why my parents put money into a bowl every Sunday. In my desire to participate I would ask them for extra change to throw in the bowls when they were passed. I can still remember the sound of the dimes and nickels bouncing around in the trays, the louder the better. As I grew older and attended “children’s church” without my parents, there was a time each Sunday where children brought their offerings up to the front of the class. I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to walk proudly in front of my peers and teachers to put my offerings in the bucket. So every Sunday I made sure to ask my mom or dad for a dollar because now paper money was much cooler than change. Neither of these experiences taught me anything about the biblical principal of giving back to God what is already his.
The earlier you can talk to your child about financial matters and putting God first in their lives, the better off they will be as adults. In researching different approaches to teaching children healthy money saving and spending habits, the following approach is a simple strategy that can be easily implemented. We have provided 3 labeled envelopes to help you get started.
From the time your child begins earning money they need to know there are three categories for money management: giving, saving, and spending.
The first envelope is for giving back to God. Help your child take the first ten percent of their money and place it in their giving envelope.
The second envelope is for saving. Help your child put at least ten percent of their money into their savings envelope (even when they are not saving for anything in particular).
The third envelope is for spending. This is for the money that remains after the first designations and is to be spent whenever you see fit.
How much and how often your child earns money is up to you. For further ideas, and to share your thoughts about children and allowances, be sure to check out my blog (kellyclarkonline.com) and read more or share your ideas.
My desire is to give you the tools to lay a foundation of financial responsibility that will last throughout your child’s lifetime, but more importantly, to help your child learn to put God first in their lives.
Kelly Clark
I’d like to hear from you about how you handle chores or allowance in your home. I’ll be posting more about this topic later in the week so be sure to follow up.
Posted on September 24, 2009 - by kelly
Learning from a Puppy
Against my better judgement, I let my family talk me into adopting a puppy. My past track record in the canine ownership department left me jaded and quite sure I was not going to ever be up for the responsibility of an animal that wasn’t confined to a bowl. But in a moment of weakness I saw those big brown eyes, 2 pairs of baby blues, and 1 set of greens (belonging to my husband and children) looking at me and I knew it was a lost cause.
The Clarks have now been pet owners for 3 weeks, and I have learned over these 3 short weeks what a push over I can be; not only in the dog department, but in the parenting department as well. I hear myself saying, “No bark, no jump, no bite, no whatever” only to be ignored. Very similar requests are repeated to my children each morning, “Get dressed, turn the TV off, brush your teeth,” also to be ignored.
We went to the vet tonight and it turned out to be a great parenting lesson. Liberty jumped on the vet, (a habit we are trying to nip in the bud) the first time she jumped the vet said “No jump” in his deep voice, pushed her little behind down, and guess what? She stopped jumping. She started biting, and I think to myself, “Good luck mister.” He said sternly, “No bite,” pulled his hand away and turned around. Again, she stopped biting.
I’m thinking I must be dealing with the dog whisperer, I’m in awe. The reality of it was simple: the vet meant what he said and said what he meant. Our dog knew this guy wasn’t messing around. Was he mean? No. Did he yell? No. He meant what he said and said what he meant.
Such a simple concept, yet I forget it as a parent all the time. I find myself telling my kids 5 times to turn off the TV, get your shoes on, brush your teeth, whatever the request is; before they respond. When I allow this to happen, it dilutes the request. Why should they stop the fun that’s going on if I don’t really mean what I say?
The dog’s consequence of not obeying is no treat and no attention. My kid’s consequence so far has been to have me repeat the request. We sat down tonight for a family meeting and discussed this parenting revelation. The kids are aware of the new game plan and the consequences of not obeying. They even helped come up with some of the consequences.
Getting in bed on time was a breeze and I dare say they seemed to enjoy knowing I was only going to give them one chance to do the right thing. It’s a pretty simple concept, and if repeated, will make us all a much happier family.
Children don’t want to guess when parents are serious and when they aren’t. It’s not cognitively appropriate to have them making these life choices. Do yourself and your children a favor: Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t accept anything less.
Posted on September 1, 2009 - by kelly
Moses
As I prepare to send my children off to school for another year that has come much too quick I have been busy doing the traditional back to school shopping for new clothes, book bags, lunch boxes, etc. But have I done enough to prepare their hearts for this journey?
My hope and prayer is that in their heart of hearts they know they are not just my child, but God’s. Will they have the confidence that comes from knowing they are the Creator’s perfect masterpiece? Will they be able to stand up to the bullies and the peer pressure of day to day challenges because they are filled with a confidence that can only come from being in relationship with God? Will they be leaders or followers?
“By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible.” Hebrews 11:24-27
I want my children to have a confidence that I, at times, lacked; never questioning self worth or doubting their potential. I think this can only come from being in a genuine and secure relationship with God. The days I wasted worrying about fitting in or trying to be what someone else had planned for me to be was time wasted on not being who I could have been through Christ. Just as Moses left Egypt and lived a life that ultimately prepared him to lead the Israelites out of slavery, I know these struggles and trials of finding who we are can eventually define what type of leader we will become.
My hope for my own kids is that they spend less time in the desert and much more time being the leaders God created them to be.
Posted on November 24, 2008 - by kelly
Thanksgiving
“How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?” 1 Thessalonians 3:9
I thought it would be appropriate to take a moment during this Thanksgiving week and thank my family for who they are and the joy they bring me.
Shannon- I am thankful for your friendship, your unending patience and love. You know the real me and love me in spite of it. You are kind and generous and I love spending my life with you.
Emma- Thank you for your kindness, you are a beautiful girl inside and out. I love watching you bring out the good in your friends and your brother (even when it is hard). You have the ability to find the good in all situations and your caring attitude changes those around you.
Ethan- I am thankful for your humor. Your smile has the ability to change my day. You are funny and smart and I love to listen to your stories. Thank you for the innosence in the way you spend your day.
God has blessed me with a wonderful family. I encourage you to take time during this week to let your family know how much they are loved by you.
Posted on July 29, 2008 - by kelly
Inappropriate
Yesterday my children and I were watching television when one of those funny wireless commercials came on. It was the one about being on vacation and not getting the call that the family was headed to a nude beach on accident. Well, in my family no question is off limits so my eight year old was full of them… “Why would anyone want to go naked on the beach?” “Wouldn’t you get sunburned?” “Do you think they put sunscreen on their behinds?” You get the point….
Well I tried the route of “In other countries they do things differently.” But my 5 year old piped up and stated that he thought it was inappropriate to be naked in front of other people. The statement was an interesting one because it was such a big word, I wondered if he even knew what it meant.
We discussed what it meant to be inappropriate and I was impressed and his ability to articulate what that means to a five year old. He was right on. I walked away with a clearer understanding that my kids are listening. They do hear the lessons I try to get across, and even when it appears that no one is home, they are.
Posted on April 29, 2008 - by kelly
Grace through my child’s eyes
School can be a cruel place for children of faith. They are bombarded from an early age of the “ways of the world” and then we ask them to make good choices and do the right things. A task that I find impossible on most days to accomplish.
One Sunday morning as I picked up my eight year old from her Sunday school class her eyes caught mine and gave me the “deer in the headlights” look. She casually (or as casual as an eight year old can be jerking her neck from side to side) motioned for me to check out the visiting classmate for the day. As my eyes glanced across the room they rested on the sight no mother ever wants to see in her child’s “safe place”, the school bully.
I casually whispered, “Let’s talk about this in the car.” On our way outside to the car my mind was racing with thoughts of frustration and anger. This child has been responsible for countless tears and hurt feelings, I didn’t want her at our church too. This was our place, this was our sanctuary from bullies!
And then my eight year old daughter taught me a valuable lesson in humility. She said, “Mom, I am so glad she was there today.” I looked at her with a shocked expression and said, “Really, why?” “Because mom, if she learns about Jesus, I know she will learn to be nice.”
God’s grace was shown to me that day through the eyes of my child.
