Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Posted on September 24, 2009 - by kelly

Learning from a Puppy

Against my better judgement, I let my family talk me into adopting a puppy.  My past track record in the canine ownership department left me jaded and quite sure I was not going to ever be up for the responsibility of an animal that wasn’t confined to a bowl.  But in a moment of weakness I saw those big brown eyes, 2 pairs of baby blues, and 1 set of greens (belonging to my husband and children) looking at me and I knew it was a lost cause.

The Clarks have now been pet owners for 3 weeks, and I have learned over these 3 short weeks what a push over I can be; not only in the dog department, but in the parenting department as well.  I hear myself saying, “No bark, no jump, no bite, no whatever” only to be ignored.  Very similar requests are repeated to my children each morning, “Get dressed, turn the TV off, brush your teeth,” also to be ignored.

We went to the vet tonight and it turned out to be a great parenting lesson.  Liberty jumped on the vet, (a habit we are trying to nip in the bud) the first time she jumped the vet said “No jump” in his deep voice, pushed her little behind down, and guess what?  She stopped jumping.  She started biting, and I think to myself, “Good luck mister.”  He said sternly, “No bite,” pulled his hand away and turned around.  Again, she stopped biting. 

I’m thinking I must be dealing with the dog whisperer, I’m in awe.   The reality of it was simple: the vet meant what he said and said what he meant.  Our dog knew this guy wasn’t messing around.  Was he mean?  No.  Did he yell?  No.  He meant what he said and said what he meant.

Such a simple concept, yet I forget it as a parent all the time.  I find myself telling my kids 5 times to turn off the TV, get your shoes on, brush your teeth, whatever the request is; before they respond.  When I allow this to happen, it dilutes the request.  Why should they stop the fun that’s going on if I don’t really mean what I say? 

The dog’s consequence of not obeying is no treat and no attention.  My kid’s consequence so far has been to have me repeat the request.  We sat down tonight for a family meeting and discussed this parenting revelation.  The kids are aware of the new game plan and the consequences of not obeying.  They even helped come up with some of the consequences.

Getting in bed on time was a breeze and I dare say they seemed to enjoy knowing I was only going to give them one chance to do the right thing.  It’s a pretty simple concept, and if repeated, will make us all a much happier family. 

Children don’t want to guess when parents are serious and when they aren’t.  It’s not cognitively appropriate to have them making these life choices.  Do yourself and your children a favor: Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Don’t accept anything less.

Posted on July 29, 2008 - by kelly

Inappropriate

Yesterday my children and I were watching television when one of those funny wireless commercials came on. It was the one about being on vacation and not getting the call that the family was headed to a nude beach on accident. Well, in my family no question is off limits so my eight year old was full of them… “Why would anyone want to go naked on the beach?” “Wouldn’t you get sunburned?” “Do you think they put sunscreen on their behinds?” You get the point….

Well I tried the route of “In other countries they do things differently.” But my 5 year old piped up and stated that he thought it was inappropriate to be naked in front of other people. The statement was an interesting one because it was such a big word, I wondered if he even knew what it meant.

We discussed what it meant to be inappropriate and I was impressed and his ability to articulate what that means to a five year old. He was right on. I walked away with a clearer understanding that my kids are listening. They do hear the lessons I try to get across, and even when it appears that no one is home, they are.